Sometimes when we become aware of an emotion or place within us that is hurt and wants to be healed, our conscious minds are all for it, but our subconscious minds resist-
-before our conscious minds even have a chance to engage. There can be wounds, especially core negative beliefs, that are so deep and so painful that our subconscious will do anything in its power to try and protect us from them. When this happens, and one of those core beliefs gets triggered, it can be like one of those child's toy weighted balloon punching bags. You punch it and it sways backwards, only to immediately pop back up. You can shut down listening and any chance of trying to understand the other person or their perspective in this case. You may interrupt them while they are speaking. You may stomp off or physically turn away. You may get very quiet and pout and refuse to communicate, or pick up your phone to distract yourself. Anything to avoid hearing the thing that your subconscious thinks will pour salt in the old wound. You will probably feel a good bit of emotion during this experience. Anger, resentment, hurt, and fear are all common.
Why does this happen, and how can we move past it? The good news is that you can heal these wounds. The bad news is that you can't move past them, you must move through them. Continuing to avoid them will only strengthen our resistance and build a larger wall between us and peace, not to mention those we love. Our society teaches us to suppress our emotions from day one. Small children are taught not to feel their feelings. Instead, they are often told to stop being a cry baby, quit whining, or the ever famous "Do you want me to give you something to cry about?" Anger is an emotion that most humans have no idea how to handle is a positive way. How can we learn to deal with our emotions properly when those who taught us didn't know how either? Anger scares many people, both in themselves and in others. We fear violence. We feel threatened. This leads to us shutting down anger in ourselves, and in others. The anger and other emotionsthat we do not allow ourselves to express don't just magically disappear. Remember, everything is made of energy, including our emotions. And as we know, energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form. Often times, it changes form by manifesting into ailments such as physical pain, depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, digestive problems, etc. Wouldn't it be much easier then, to just feel your feeling as they arise, instead of pushing them away to let them morph into something less fun?
Really feeling our emotions can be painful and scary! We are not used to these feelings. Most of us distract ourselves as soon as we start to feel anything we consider uncomfortable. We also do our best to avoid pain, especially emotional pain. The funny thing is that we often end up causing ourselves so much more pain in the process! If we will take the time and allow ourselves to fully feel a feeling when it happens(or even later when it may be more "appropriate") it will naturally move on and dissipate. Energy is meant to be in motion. If you let that emotional energy flow through you it will then flow out and be gone. It's when we hold onto it by resisting it that it creates blockages in our bodies. Think of it like water flowing out of a faucet. If you just let it flow, it continues down the drain and on its way. If you put a stopper in the sink, the water will collect and the sink will begin to fill. Remove the stopper and the sink drains and the water goes back to flowing freely.
We tend to treat our emotional pain and injury very differently than we do the physical. Imagine if you broke your leg, but just decided it's not a big deal, and kept trying to walk on it. People might point out "Hey, have you noticed that your leg bone is sticking out of your skin? Are you okay? Doesn't that hurt? Shouldn't you go to the hospital?" You would reply, "Yes, it hurts, but I'm just ignoring it. In fact, I'm planning on doing a five mile hike this weekend." People would think you were crazy. They would probably be right. Not only would the bone not heal properly, but the wound would likely get infected and lead to even more problems. But we do this all the freaking time when it comes to emotional wounds. Our society even encourages us to do this. "Suck it up!" "Just don't think about it." Or, for women- "Are you on your period?" or "Stop being so emotional. You're acting crazy again." But how do we expect to be fully functioning humans when we have emotional injuries that we are not allowing to heal?
So, how do we go about healing the old wounds? That is an article(or several) unto itself. Great information can be found by people like Byron Katie and Teal Swan. They offer great, in depth processes. Just acknowledging our desire to allow our emotions to teach us, and being grateful for their message, will allow things to begin to shift.