On Climbing Out of the Rabbit Hole

I've been doing a lot of inner work lately. The really deep, Kali Ma type work that only true warrior souls will ever know the vast depths of. I've been cracked open, twisted around, pushed, pulled and shrunk so small I vanished. Why would I put myself through this, you might ask? Because I believe that to become the person you are meant to be, the one deep down in your heart you know you can be, you must do the shadow work. I had, in the words of the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, lost my muchness.

Shadow work is the process of welcoming the fragmented pieces of your soul back into your whole by looking at them, understanding them, accepting them and allowing them to tell you why they've been hiding all these years. They often tell their story through tears and body sensations. The shadow self is the part of ourselves we hide from ourselves. It's those aspects of our personality that we don't want anyone to see. It's also the parts that everyone but us sees, but our ego protects us from them so well we don't even know they exist.

In having the courage to be completely present with my emotions, I've been given the keys to the city, if you will. My mind and body are starting to share secrets with me that they've only whispered behind my back for years. My intuition continues to get louder and stronger. My senses are heightened. My meditations have led me to depths of my inner being I could not fathom even existed. I've laughed, cried, had my body twist and contort itself of its own volition. It's been a wild ride, and it's not over yet. This inner work has given me the courage to step and sometimes leap out of my comfort zone. My ego does not appreciate this one bit. Like the robot in the old 60's sitcom, Lost in Space, it keeps screaming "Danger! Danger Will Robinson!", which I find a bit odd since that's not my name. But anyway.... But now, instead of ducking for cover and hiding from the fear, I invite it along for the ride. If it tries to steer, I duck tape it to a chair for a while.

This trip down the rabbit hole, as I like to call it, is coming to an end. I have learned so much about myself, life, and the need for connection with others. I am now ready to take my place as a fierce warrior for love and sisterhood. My ability to see the fear for what it is, in myself and others, helps me guide women to find their own inner truth. I feel whole, powerful and like me again. And I am grateful.